Meet Kierran Batchelor, a 21-year-old miscreant from Britain. That’s his picture from his Facebook page to the right. He was caught burglarizing two homes in February 2013, for which he received a suspended sentence of 40 weeks in jail, drug treatment, and supervised probation.
He was sentenced and got out of jail in April, noting the occasion with a post to his Facebook wall: “IV JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL,, IM F**KIN BUZZIN!!!!!” Soon after leaving the slammer, however, he stopped showing up to his daily meetings with his probation officer.
According to The Daily Mail Online, Mr. Batchelor decided that the 10 a.m. meetings with his probation officer were too early in the morning for him. When his probation officer got a little upset and dragged Mr. Batchelor in front of a judge, our hero asked the Judge to be thrown in prison so he could sleep in.
“I’d rather go to jail and get it out the way, come out and get a fresh start, and not have to do probation and things like that,” he told the judge. To which the judge replied “You were given a chance and you have not taken it. Many would say you were fortunate.” As Batchelor was led out of the courtroom to start his 40 weeks in prison, he thanked the judge.
You can read more about this at Britain’s Daily Mail by clicking here.
Prosecutor’s perspective from the Literary Lawyer:
I think Batchelor’s attitude is obnoxious and shows a lack of respect for the court. I am not at all amused by his flippant remarks. It’s long been established that jail is not a deterrent to crime but I’ve never dealt with a criminal who actually wanted to be there.
Batchelor was convicted on two counts of burglary. In my jurisdiction, that’s 20 years per house he burglared. I’ve not seen his rap sheet but the lenient sentence suggests that he had no felony convictions. Which would explain why the judge gave him a suspended sentence. Anyone interested in turning their life around would have been grateful for the chance to do so and even more grateful to avoid a 40 year prison sentence. But Batchelor spat in the face of the court.
Cuff him and dress him in the fashionable orange jumpsuit. Don’t waste the court’s resources in trying to rehabilitate him. Let those resources be reserved for first offenders who made a mistake and truly want to change their lives.
Will Batchelor be a better person when he comes out? Absolutely not. He will still be the arrogant, foolish wanker that he is. Will he be a changed person after 40 weeks? Maybe. But probably for the worse. Nonetheless, if he thinks jail is easier than being on the outside, then he is well on his way to becoming a lifetime criminal.
To the UK that has the pleasure of Mr. Batchelor’s residency, I say to those citizens, lock up your houses, lock up your cars, lock up your daughters — Mr. Batchelor will be out in a mere 10 weeks to pray upon you!
You can read more from the Literary Lawyer by clicking here.
The defense lawyer’s opinion:
What’s so bad about taking your lumps? I mean hey, a guy like Kierran probably had to live with his Mum yelling at him all the time, his screwed up and drugged out girlfriend undoubtedly left him after his first jail stint, and his Da is down at the pub telling the town how cheesed he is about his wanker kid back home. Plus there’s all that hassle with staying clean and sober so you can go in to see your probation officer at the crack of mid-morning. Forty weeks in the joint would be a welcome relief for me, too.
Of course you can’t get “BUZZIN” all the time in the pokey but you can make new friends in the loo. A skinny runt like Kierran should also take advantage of every chance to hit the weight pile out in the yard that he can. It’s kind of the drug free vacation he really needs but without the raves and warm British beer.
Here in my hometown I get guys who prefer this arrangement every so often. Usually it happens when the weather turns lousy. Why freeze under the bridge when you can relax and enjoy the county’s hospitality? You get three hot meals a day every single day and you don’t even have to beg. They have real showers – no more waiting for it to rain – and you don’t need to ask to get deloused. The jail nurses will even help you get those intestinal worms under control if they’re bothering you again. You see? A jail stint has all kinds of upsides for some guys. I suppose there’s always the risk your bunkmates have TB or some weird disease that could kill you. You don’t want to rub up against some guy with MRSA in the chow line, either. Nobody wants an untreatable flesh eating disease, trust me.
Before I forget, consider the upside for Mr. Batchelor’s defense lawyer. These cases are super easy ways to make $750 off their parents or whoever is paying the bill. I mean, how hard is it to stand up there with the guy for 15 minutes and tell the Judge that he admits the violation and just wants to go serve his jail? You don’t have to bother calling witnesses or doing any actual lawyer work like writing a legal brief on the constitutional right to sleep in. Assuming you don’t have to sit around waiting for his case to be called for too long, that comes out to an hourly rate of about $3,000. I’m certainly not going to argue too hard with a guy who decided he just wants to give up and go to jail.
What’s your opinion?
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