Facepaint, tattoos, and Lohan’s fingernails

Face tattoos make you look cool.
Face tattoos make you look cool.

Why do people think it’s funny to be artistic on their faces? It’s like some kind of weird trend. Dangerous drug gangs get facial tattoos. Idiotic screwballs paint themselves with spray paint to be funny right before they go to court. Let me clue you in on something. Judges don’t think it’s funny. In fact, they are the least funny people I have ever met. You are not there to amuse them and make some point about hunger in Africa or animal rights. If you were so stupid as to get bad tattoo artwork on your face you can certainly buy makeup to hide it for a few hours when you’re in court.

.

Flag man!
I suppose he thought he was being patriotic but it didn’t fool the Judge.

Oh, and don’t even think about trying to do that thing Lindsay Lohan did with the obscene message on her fingernail. This is basically a family friendly blog so I’m only going to link to stories about it with full pictures here or here. It’s NSFW, by the way. You do what she did and you go to jail for contempt of court on top of whatever other sentence you get. Usually the contempt jail sanction is imposed consecutively. That means you are not eligible for early release, work release, treatment programs, etc. You have to serve the entire first sentence and then the second one. It’s the Judge’s way of getting in the last word.

Not very funny Lindsay. And your last movie stunk.
Not very funny Lindsay. And your last movie stunk.

-Samuel Owen

© Samuel Owen 2012. All rights reserved. Please read important notices and disclaimers by clicking here.

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