Stupid sports metaphors

I can’t stand it when I watch some idiot quarterback or right-fielder getting interviewed on TV after some big game. They all sound as stupid as fence posts. When you say these things you are telling everyone that you admire these dummies. Which brings your mental capacity into serious question and reflects poorly on us for hiring you.

It is what it is. What does that mean? You are not going to connect with some male Judge who you hope also sits around watching ESPN all the time. You sound like some stupid linebacker getting interviewed on TV saying something stupid because he can’t read or write. He says “it is what it is” when his concussion from last night’s game is still scrambling his brain and he can’t think straight. When you say it, you sound like you’re brain is scrambled too, but without a good reason.

Take it to the next level. This is another stupid sports metaphor that has crept into what lawyers say. You better get it straight that there are no levels in court. The only level you will ever operate on is the highest level of truth, honesty, raw facts, and well founded legal argument. If you ever think you are on another level, you better take a week off to get your head screwed on straight before you end up disbarred, divorced, and homeless.

-Samuel Owen

© Samuel Owen 2012. All rights reserved. Please read important notices and disclaimers by clicking here.
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