Cabernet Sauvignon

Unless it’s your family’s label, ordering a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon is the dumbest drinking mistake lawyers make EVER. The lawyer who orders one of these at a party is putting up a huge flashing neon sign saying “I’m a clueless idiot.” A glass of Cabernet Sauvignon is the faux pas of the cocktail party, my friends. It’s the signal you’re not sure what you’re doing but you are there with the big kids so you’re giving it a try.

Don’t get me wrong. I like a good Cab. At their best, Cabernets are fantastic. But you drink it with a great steak. You’re going to find out after your first sip that Cabernet dries out your mouth like crazy with all the tannin. It’s what defines a great Cabernet and makes it such a perfect wine to have with great food. You don’t drink one by itself. When you order one of these, you look like you were flailing around trying to think of a drink to order. All you could think of was that wine your grandparents ordered at some fancy restaurant when you were a kid and it sounded fancy.

Put on your big boy pants and order a real drink like a great bourbon. You’re a smart lawyer. You can experiment at little bit at home where you’re safely out of the public eye and not in danger of driving home loaded. Don’t wait until you’re standing there at the bar with that ‘deer in the headlights’ look. You could at least buy a book about this stuff. You went to law school. You should be familiar with the concept of reading a book to figure something out.

What it says about you: You are an awkward weirdo with poor social skills.

Your hobby: You like to play bingo with your mom or walk your dog or something.

You wear: Awkward stuff that doesn’t really fit or match.

Your car: Something geeky like one of those new electric hybrids.

-Samuel Owen

© Samuel Owen 2012. All rights reserved. Please read important notices and disclaimers by clicking here.

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