Homebrew

This is kind of an unusual one because you can’t buy a homebrewed beer. Federal law prohibits homebrewers from selling their stuff unless they go through the whole expensive nightmare of the BATFE licensing process and paying taxes. So, folks who like homebrew don’t go out much and they’re absolutely fine with it. Besides, homebrewers aren’t the kind to belly up to the bar. They like to drink their own stuff. They don’t do it to get drunk or escape the family. The brew their own beer so that they can sit back and enjoy a pint with all the elements of what makes up a really perfect IPA or a chocolate stout or something. 

A person who puts hours into brewing their own beer has a kind of weary, comfortable style that you can’t really describe unless you sit down with them some Saturday afternoon. They blend in at work but at home they wear really comfortable jeans. You’ll see them hug their family with an easy kind of familiarity that says volumes about what’s really important in life. They don’t talk about work at home unless you bring it up. Be ready because they may be having a good conversation with you but they’re going to drop everything to help one of the kids with a stuck zipper or skinned knee.

Once they get to know you at work and you stop giving them a heart attack every couple of weeks they’re probably going to invite you over. Don’t ever pass up on one of those invites. They’re a rare treat, especially if they are about ready to open up one or two of the latest batch of homebrews. You’re in for a really good dinner they cooked themselves like homemade pasta or BBQ ribs or something. After dinner you’ll share a couple of their homebrews on the back porch while the sun sets. You can bring a date or the kids or both because they’re going to be welcome, too. The homebrewer’s house might not be big, or fancy, or have an amazing view, but anybody who spends years perfecting their favorite homebrewed beer is going to put some work into effortlessly making sure you feel at home. How many times have you experienced that in your life?

A good homebrewer probably grows their own hops in the back yard. They’ll tell you about how to do it yourself if you ask. If they have been brewing their own beer for a while they’re going to make something pretty good. Actually, they probably have a linen closet full of a couple different kinds of good homebrews so ask if you have a favorite kind. After talking with them for a while you’re going to see they’re getting a little worn out from the whole lawyering grind. They have dealt with the worst in people at the office and their home is their place to go and relax with friends and family. You’re lucky to get invited over. If you can hold up an intelligent conversation or offer to help with making the apple cider this year you might get invited back.

What it says about you: You put hours into things that matter like your family. You’re proud of making things yourself such as your homebrew and it shows.

Your hobby: Your hobby is reading brewing textbooks on your Kindle. You wish you could just chuck it all and open a really good microbrewery.

You wear: A really comfortable pair of jeans.

Your car: You want a truck but until the kids are in college you’re driving a large, safe, Ford Expedition. Unless, that is, you’re a Chevy family in which case you’re obviously driving a Suburban.

-Samuel Owen

© Samuel Owen 2012. All rights reserved. Please read important notices and disclaimers by clicking here.
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