Red Bull and Vodka

I’m always a little worried about lawyers who order a Red Bull and vodka. Have you ever tried one? They taste like weird chemicals. The only thing worse is any drink made with Campari.

The thing is that I don’t think the lawyer who orders one of these drinks is level headed and sane. Although they may look normal, they’re ordering a Red Bull and vodka because it’s what they drink at their all night dance parties. It’s what their out of control friends are doing to party until they puke. They’re secretly crazy party hounds and that’s not really compatible with being a lawyer. They like the non-conformist X-Games attitude thing but they’re hiding it to try to fit in at the firm. Are they safe enough to trust with something really important or are they a screw-up waiting to happen?

There are only two real reasons these people drink Red Bull and vodka. The first reason is that they desperately want to fit in with the image of the 25 year old party crowd. Yes your 20’s were fun just like mine were, but you are a lawyer working somewhere serious now. You have to grow up. The other reason is probably worse: they order these drinks – one right after the other – for the caffeine and booze. Somebody who needs that combo to party until breakfast every weekend is either one small step away from a serious drug problem or in some kind of burn out phase.

What it says about you: You know where to party hard every single weekend.

Your hobby: Clubbing, surviving the next hangover, and hiding your exhaustion at work.

You wear: Weird club outfits that are popular in Europe.

Your car: Hopefully a taxi.

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