Um, Nothing Really

Of all the drinks that tell us so much about the lawyers who drink them, this one is really my favorite. Everyone knows exactly what is going on with these people but nobody talks about it, or if they do it’s kind of a funny secret to everyone. When you meet one of the lawyers who don’t really drink anything in particular you’ll know right away. Many of them have a big pot belly. If you have dinner with them, they always order the pot roast. If it’s lunch at a Chinese place they order pot stickers. Get it? Every afternoon at 4:20 they have to take a break and head out behind the office. Sometimes they go hide on the roof. They have a whole collection of those weird Jerry Garcia ties and loosely match them to their wardrobe, unless they can get away with not wearing a tie at all.

These folks get the munchies at the weirdest times. When the office has an event, they try to sneak a big tray of brownies past the office manager. You will catch these lawyers walking around the office after hours in their bare feet. Their weird looking friends meet them at the back door every couple of weeks for a few minutes. At the company holiday party they’re going to have a few drinks and try to introduce you to their girlfriend Mary Jane. Don’t fall for that one, by the way. She ain’t worth it.

What it says about you: You’re a dirty hippy and you love it.

Your hobby: Watching the weather channel.

You wear: Shorts, sandals, and a tie dye shirt year ‘round.

Your car: A really old Mercedes with stickers in the window for the local hemp fest.

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