White Wine

A lawyer sipping a glass of white wine is a study in contrasts. Very few men drink one of these unless their wife got two from the bar, so I’m going to focus on the women. On one hand, she is going to walk around working the men in the office crowd with her wine glass and overbearing personality. She knows how to enter into every conversation she wants to and always ends up being the center of attention. She will give just enough attention to the rest of the group so that they feel she likes them. Ms. White Wine laughs and smiles while she cuts through or climbs over everyone in her way. It’s doubtful that she’s going to talk to you. You, it must be said, offer her nothing except someone to shift the blame or the bar complaint onto so she can move on. It’s probably a good thing she ignores you.

On the other hand, she is going to run every other woman in the crowd, especially the legal secretaries. Some of them she is going to share a glass of white wine with to pretend to be friends with. Those kinds of connections let her stay on top of what’s going on with the other lawyers and their clients. Nothing is better than a tip that lets her swoop in and ‘rescue’ a client so she can look good to the partners, if she isn’t one already. With some of the other women she’s going to bring them a Cosmo or something just so she can look friendly. The white wine crowd knows that you keep your friends close but your frenemies closer.

What it says about you: You are calm, work a big case load, and you want to ditch these losers at your firm and be a Judge.

Your hobby: Divorcing a long series of men who you say were needy losers.

You wear: Severe business suits with colorful scarves.

Your car: The biggest, most expensive BMW you could find, probably in black.

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