Huffers

Of all the dumb things a lawyer sees criminals do to themselves, huffing is right up there at the top. It’s probably second on the all-time-bad-to-do-to-yourself championship list and I have actually heard of some huffers around here doing it as a kind of competitive sport. I haven’t had a case where some guy hit himself in the head with a hammer or a 2×4 but those would be number one on the list, followed very closely behind by huffing.

What is huffing, you ask? Well I’m laughing while I write this but huffing is the practice of filling a plastic bag with dangerous chemical fumes of some kind and then inhaling it to get the full effect of the benzene, toluene, xylene, acetone, 1,1,1-Trichloroethane (whatever that is), you know. Stuff that’s really good for you.

These are really dangerous household and industrial chemicals, people. For some reason spray paint is really popular with the huffing set. Some dummies even try to do it with gasoline but I’ve never talked to one. Maybe they don’t live long enough to get appointed a defense lawyer. I have, though, talked to a few huffers and I’ve asked them why they prefer spray paint. Basically they say it gives them the best freaky high. I bet it does. The solvents used in spray paint also kill your brain but assuming they live long enough for that to happen, it won’t occur for years. It happens really slowly anyway, so they probably won’t even notice. In the mean time, huff on!

I’ve got some great pictures of famous huffers. Well, famous on the internet, anyway. These idiots were so brain-dead that they forgot to wipe the spray paint off their face. I’m just guessing here, but do you think the inside of their mouth, their throat, and their lungs looks a little bit like their chin? What on Gods Green Earth are these people thinking?

The paint on your face and in your lungs is bad enough, but here’s the weird part about huffing. Your lungs absorb the dangerous chemicals really fast so the “high” hits your brain hard. It doesn’t last long, and huffers get an excruciating headache as it fades away. The headache is supposed to last for hours. I would think that after one or two major migraine scale headaches from huffing you would figure out what’s causing it and . . . um . . . maybe try to avoid all that pain? Ten or fifteen minutes of a strange spacey “high” doesn’t seem worth the cost, especially if you end up slow in the head and looking like one of these geniuses.

Know what else you get from huffing those fumes? Nausea and vomiting, slurred speech, loss of motor coordination, wheezing, and the smell of the chemicals in your sweat. Some huffers get bad skin reactions like the kid in the pic below and what doctors call “glue sniffer’s rash” around their nose and mouth. I haven’t been able to find a picture of the rash but the next time I can I’ll take one and post it here.

I want to close this post with the cases of the unfortunate young men below. Huffing went horribly wrong for them but apparently they both lived to regret it. No word yet if they’re permanently a lot slower than usual but I doubt they scored prom dates this year:

.

.

.

.

.

.

-Samuel Owen

© Samuel Owen 2012. All rights reserved. Please read important notices and disclaimers by clicking here.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s